


Sins Of The Father

by AceyEnn



Series: August And Everything After [6]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Death in Childbirth, Gen, Suicide Attempt, They Might Be Giants' 1990 masterpiece Flood, did you know that "greg" is short for "great egg", greg is trying his best and loves his son very much, pearl is kind of a bitch sometimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 09:47:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24967690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceyEnn/pseuds/AceyEnn
Summary: Greg feels guilty and Pearl is kind of an ass. (At first.)(Set partly around chapters 2-3 of Pearl, Interrupted and partly during chapter 46.)
Relationships: Past Greg Universe/Rose Quartz, Past Pearl/Rose Quartz
Series: August And Everything After [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1796716
Comments: 15
Kudos: 25





	Sins Of The Father

**Author's Note:**

> LOOK I JUST REALLY LOVE GREG OKAY. And I wanted to write a lil about his thoughts on all this. I hope it's good--I haven't written Greg a ton, so y'know.

Your name is Greg Universe, and you never expected you'd end up a single dad at 22.

You enter the hospital nursery to see your son. Steven came a month early, and he's tiny, but the good news is that he seems pretty healthy. You don't know when you'll be able to take him home yet, but you hope it's soon. You'd rather spend as little time in the hospital as possible, especially given what happened to Rose--Steven’s mother, your girlfriend, now dead. 

You're not taking it well at all, of course. Granted, you'd known it was a very real possibility, but that doesn't make it  _ easier. _

And yet when you see your little boy in his incubator, sleeping soundly, you can't help but smile. Steven is so perfect, so precious, and the love you feel for him is overpowering.

\---

Four months after Steven’s birth, you get a series of texts from Garnet. 

_ “greg.  _

_ “we need you to meet us at the hospital. _

_ “it's about pearl.” _

Your blood runs cold. You have your suspicions about what may have happened, of course--Pearl has always seemed so  _ fragile _ , like one of the porcelain knick-knacks at your estranged parents’ house, liable to break if you so much as looked at her funny.  _ Especially  _ where Rose was concerned. 

You always felt bad about that. You hadn't even known she was still involved with Pearl when you began dating, and the look of pure  _ hatred _ the younger girl gave you when you first met her has stuck with you. You knew how she felt about Rose, and yet…

You stayed. Perhaps it was selfish, but you did-- _ do _ \--love Rose with every fiber of your being.

Unfortunately for all involved, Pearl felt the exact same way, and made no attempt to hide her resentment. Part of you wonders why she never seemed to hold it against  _ Rose _ , but you suppose it's not a huge surprise. Rose was just...like that. A free spirit who couldn't be tied down, who was beloved by all who met her.

_ “greg. i cannot tell if you've gotten my texts or not. _

_ “please come to the hospital asap.” _

You frown as you text back that you're on your way, and as you bundle Steven up and head to the van, you feel your heart sink.

\---

Sapphire is the one who explains the situation to you--Ruby is too busy freaking out to talk, and Garnet, Sapphire tells you, is in the ICU by Pearl’s side. 

“I should've done more,” Sapphire sighs, biting her lip. “I'm a  _ therapist _ , I--”

“It's not  _ your  _ fault, Sapphire, it's  _ hers _ ! Why would she do something so--so  _ selfish _ ? To Garnet? To  _ us _ ?” Ruby is fuming, and you just stand there awkwardly, completely unsure of how to respond. 

“Ruby, please stop that. Depression, grief...they're complicated things, and you know Pearl has been struggling a lot.”

“So she…” you begin, and Sapphire nods, anticipating your next words.

“Tried to kill herself, yes. Jumped into the ocean. She's fortunate that she was found, but…”

“But?”

“She's in very bad shape. Comatose. No one’s really sure if she'll pull through or not at this point. It’s...it's all very uncertain.”

Steven fusses in your arms, and you wonder if even he can recognize the gravity of the situation.

\---

Seeing Pearl lying half-dead in her hospital bed, all covered in machinery, reminds you uncomfortably of Rose’s final days. There's a sad irony to the whole thing--that she was so crushed by losing Rose that she decided to end her own life, that she didn't seem to realize that she was leaving her loved ones behind just like Rose did. Or maybe she  _ did _ realize, and opted to do it anyway. It's hard to say.

Garnet looks up at you as you enter, greeting you with a wave. “You brought Steven,” she comments.

“Well, I couldn't exactly leave him home alone...and I wouldn't have been able to find a sitter on such short notice…”

“Never said I was complaining.” Garnet shrugs. “He's a cute kid.”

“Isn't he?” You look down at the little bundle of joy in your arms. It's easier than looking at Pearl. 

Garnet stands, and gestures you over. You sit down in the chair she just vacated with a heavy sigh.

“This is my fault, huh?”

Garnet shakes her head. “No. Absolutely not.”

“But Rose and I--”

“Rose would've done what she felt like doing whether you'd been there or not. Perhaps she would've had someone else’s child and it would've ended the same way.” 

“I guess.”  _ But she didn't. She chose  _ me _. _

“Either way, don't blame yourself for what Rose did. For what  _ Pearl  _ did.”

You don't really know what to say to that. You're not sure there  _ is  _ anything to say.

“I've been talking to her,” Garnet continues, “for the past few hours. It's comforting. Even though she's not responding.”

“Would she be upset if  _ I  _ tried to talk to her?”

Garnet smirks. “Probably a bit hard for her to be upset about that when she's still unconscious.”

“Okay.” 

You hold Steven close as you speak to Pearl, careful to keep him away from the wires and tubes. You apologize profusely--for getting involved with Rose, for  _ staying  _ with Rose, for, in a roundabout way, being somewhat responsible for Rose’s demise. Of course, Pearl says nothing, but it assuages your intense guilt just a bit. 

You wonder if she can hear you. You wonder if she'd forgive you if she could. If she  _ will  _ forgive you when-- _ if _ , you remind yourself--she wakes. 

\---

The next time you see Pearl, she's conscious, and clearly upset about it.

“What,” she asks when you enter, “are  _ you  _ doing here?” She sounds painfully exhausted, out of breath, voice raw and far too quiet. 

“Uh, just checkin' in? I was really worried. We all were. You...you really scared us, Pearl.”

Pearl heaves a sigh, rolling her eyes. “Everyone keeps saying that,” she mutters.

“That's because it's  _ true. _ ” 

Pearl doesn't say anything to that. She just stares at the swaddled infant in your arms.  _ Shit. I should've asked Vidalia if she could watch him. _

“Uh,” you begin, hoping to talk about literally anything other than the elephant in the room, “how you feeling?”

“You know the answer to that, Greg.” She runs a hand through her hair, frowning. 

“I don't, really.”

“Sad. Angry. Like dying.”

“I mean physically. I heard there were some broken bones, how're those healing up?”

“They hurt.  _ Everything _ hurts. Talking, moving,  _ thinking… _ ”

Pearl sighs again, putting her head in her hands. “I shouldn't be here. I...I really thought my plan was foolproof. I was alone, it was early in the morning...I didn't  _ want  _ to be found, you know.”

“ _ We _ did,” you reply.

“I know! I  _ know.  _ And you all think I'm some  _ fool _ .” 

“No,” you say firmly. “We don't.”

Pearl doesn't look up at you, doesn't look up at  _ Steven.  _ She just sits there, face in her hands. “Those stupid fishermen. They should've just left me be. I was half-drowned by the time they pulled me out anyway. They should've just...given up. Assumed I was dead already.”

“But you weren't.”

“No.  _ Unfortunately _ .” Pearl’s shoulders are shaking, and you realize she's begun to cry. “I just want to be with  _ her.  _ And--and I know that if there's anything after you die, we wouldn't have even gone to the same place. She was so  _ good _ , and I'm…”

Pearl trails off, breaking down into anguished sobs. 

“Should I leave?” you ultimately ask.

“Please do.”

\---

Things begin to smooth over, bit by tiny bit, but you're still shocked when she comes by the car wash in search of a job, and even more shocked when you have a perfectly nice, amicable conversation on her first day.

“How's Steven doing?” Pearl asks, and you can't help but notice that she's smiling.

“Really great! Totally healthy--kid's almost never been sick. And he's such a sweet, happy little guy already! He’s growing so fast, too. He's even started to say ‘dada.’ Or...he's trying to, at least. It comes out as just ‘da’ most of the time, but hey!”

“He's a lucky kid, you know.”

“How do you mean?”

“He has  _ you  _ for a father.” Pearl smiles brightly as she scrubs at the bumper of the sedan she's cleaning. “He's going to be surrounded by love.”

And when she tells you she'd be happy to babysit sometime, you feel a surge of pride. Of  _ relief. _

“Thanks,” you tell her. “Really.”

The album you've been blasting ends. “May I pick the next one?” Pearl asks.

“Sure! I have a big CD case in the back of the van, feel free to look through it!”

She rifles through the case for a bit, letting out a triumphant “a-ha!” as she finds what she's looking for. She puts the CD in the boombox and presses play.

_ “Why is the world in love again?”  _ the album begins, and you grin.

“Good choice.”

“Yeah. I like this one.”

When the second track comes on, she begins to sing along, lyrics about blue canaries and lighthouses spilling out of her grinning mouth as she gets back to work.

You join her in song.

**Author's Note:**

> IT'S A BRAND NEW RECORD  
> FOR 1990  
> THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS' BRAND NEW ALBUM  
> FLOOOOOOOOOOOD


End file.
